A Challenger Appears

What is it with lady bots falling all over me?


amandamitt 1:51 am
hey you..

exxthus 1:51 am
Hello?

amandamitt 1:51 am
well i saw you online on my b.l......22/f here.... and you??

exxthus 1:52 am
What is a b.l?
I don't mean to be rude.
OH!
Buddy List.
I GET IT

amandamitt 1:53 am
idk but have we ever chattted???????

exxthus 1:53 am
We have not chated, chatted, or chattted, to my knowledge. I think I would remember such powerful question mark skills.

amandamitt 1:54 am
lolll, 0o0ooppsss sorry..... i can be a bit of a blonde occasionally o:-) watcha up to?????

exxthus 1:56 am
Are you insinuating that blondes are extreme question mark martial arts masters? That seems to be what you are implying. Really, I am not surprised. The way some people who are blonde end their sentences in a way that makes them all sound like questions certainly hints at such skills.
However, it's not just blondes that do that.
I'll have to check the Olympic Internet records.

amandamitt 1:56 am
well i just got out of the shower and idk why it is buttttttt i swear i'm sooooo horny when i get out...... you ever get like that?????}

exxthus 1:57 am
Do I spontaneously erupt in horny growths after taking a shower? No, I don't believe so. Could you imagine?
...

The username is not currently accepting Instant Messages. 1:57 am
exxthus 1:57 am
...Oh, I guess you could.
Sorry.

The username is not currently accepting Instant Messages. 1:57 am
amandamitt 1:58 am
well i'm about to get on my cam... do ya wanna cumm see ;)???

exxthus 1:58 am
Did you get my last messages? That was weird.
And, uh... no thanks.

amandamitt 1:58 am
yay!!! you do have to make a name for freeee but it''s only because i usse this site so that i can't be recorded ok?????

exxthus 1:59 am
I THINK you misunderstood....
I said no.

amandamitt 1:59 am
http://www.mywebcamshow.com/bellaxxx is my profile page...... you just click that Gold Join FREE tabb at the top so you can create a name to join seeeee it?????

exxthus 1:59 am
I realize that my pseudo-programmer self is hard to resist for a bot, but please, Bella.
I am not unfaithful.
I have someone.
Kind of.
Yeah.

exxthus 2:00 am
Definitely.

amandamitt 2:00 am
yeah they do ask for a credit card of some kind buttttttttt its only to verfiy ure age. u willl NOT get charged a single penny it even says it on the page!!!!

exxthus 2:01 am
GO AWAY I AM NOT INTERESTED. Here, want my buddy list? I'm sure Sean would LOVE to speak with you.
Or Greg.
Well, he's taken, too.
Damn.
Anyway, I am not interested.

amandamitt 2:02 am
i know it sux but i had to do it too when i signed up... U just go back to my link after you get in and you will be all set to tell me what to do :)

exxthus 2:04 am
>:(

amandamitt 2:04 am
this is gonna be so awesome i can't wait sweetie.. might wanna turn down ure speakerz if u have any though i can get pretty loud sometimes!!!!

exxthus 2:04 am
What? How? Why would you get loud? Look, I said no.
I have no interest in watching you remove your growths.

amandamitt 2:05 am
let me know if you're having trouble hun and i'll try and help ya out to get in.

exxthus 2:06 am
I'm having trouble getting you to understand that I said no.

amandamitt 2:06 am
you in yet babe??? it's so colddd and lonely in here by myself let's gooooooo!!

exxthus 2:07 am
My being there wouldn't make you warm. This is the internet.
And you're talking to me, and probably other people. Why would you be lonely.
Why are you lying?
Stop lying.

exxthus 2:08 am
Aaaaanyway, I should go.
Bye.

Why?!

Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it. Blew it.


cotytothemax 11:12 pm
heya!

exxthus 11:12 pm
coty!
Oh, I have missed you so!

cotytothemax 11:12 pm
Hey what's up? 23/F here. u?

exxthus 11:13 pm
Has it really been that long, my dear?

cotytothemax 11:13 pm
Hmm. Have we chatted before?

exxthus 11:13 pm
Yes. I thought we had a thing. Was I mistaken?

cotytothemax 11:14 pm
Oh ok. I wasn't sure. Anyways... Whats up?

exxthus 11:14 pm
Stream-hopping. You?

cotytothemax 11:14 pm
Oh Im like sooo bored. Theres nothing to do.

exxthus 11:14 pm
Would you like to join me?

cotytothemax 11:15 pm
Ohhh wait. I got a idea. Have you ever watched a girl strip on cam? :-X

exxthus 11:15 pm
Oh, dear. Are we bumping up the relationship? I... oh my. You've caught me all a-flutter. I am blushing like a school girl.

cotytothemax 11:16 pm
Welllllll.... Do you wanna watch me strip on cam? ;-)

exxthus 11:16 pm
Well, I mean.... I think that... uh, well. *ahem* I just... I mean, uh..... Oh, fiddlesticks. Excuse me a moment. I need to calm my nerves.

cotytothemax 11:17 pm
Yeah? Ok you have to signup through this website that my cam is linked trhough so i cant be recorded ok?
It only takes a second babe and its free. k?

exxthus 11:18 pm
I just, well... I, uh... heh! Well! This is... *sweat* um, interesting. I think I will, uh.... Um.....

cotytothemax 11:18 pm
http://access.im/4/nikki go there then at the top click on the goId JOlN FREE button ok?

exxthus 11:18 pm
Well, uh.... I mean, is this okay?

exxthus 11:18 pm
How do I undo this hook?

cotytothemax 11:18 pm
Also it does ask for a credit card when you signup. But DONT worry
It dosent charge the card at all. Not even a penny. Its just to make sure your over 18. k?

exxthus 11:19 pm
Slip a card through it? And my stress level is well over 18, I assure you.

cotytothemax 11:19 pm
K babe well hurry up. When you get logged in then view my cam and we can have some fun :-X

exxthus 11:19 pm
Uh.....

cotytothemax 11:19 pm
I also have some toys ;-X but you have to tip me some gold or take me in private to see those.

exxthus 11:20 pm
Oh! Uh, wow. You go all out, huh?

cotytothemax 11:20 pm
Hey lets talk on there my aim is messing up.

exxthus 11:20 pm
Messing up?
Oh god, was it something I did?
It was, wasn't it?
Look at me, fumbling around.
God, I can't even look straight at you, I'm all red in the face.
Um.
I... I, uh....
....
I HAVE TO GO!
BYE, COTY!
oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

One Exorcism, Please

Not the best log. I was winding up for a full-on possession/exorcism, but it stopped talking. Then again, right after this my computer froze, so maybe it really was an evil spirit.



adamk14 8:31 pm
hey!

exxthus 8:31 pm
Hello.

adamk14 8:32 pm
hey whatss up? 24/f here u?

exxthus 8:32 pm
Wait, if you are female, why does your screen name say "Adam"? Like, I won't judge, but is this your account or were you just named Adam?

adamk14 8:33 pm
oh cool.. have we talked b4?

exxthus 8:33 pm
If you're asking for my age and gender, probably not.
Again, if you have some sort of memory problem, I apologize.
It's not my intention to offend.
Least of all people propositioning me for a good time over the internet.
That's what you're winding up to do, right?

adamk14 8:34 pm
ah ok sorry. wasnt sure. but anywho whats up?

exxthus 8:34 pm
Uh.

adamk14 8:34 pm
yeah? im so bored over here i dunno what to do with myself.

exxthus 8:34 pm
Clearly you do.

adamk14 8:34 pm
you wanna watch me on cam? i feel like having some fun :-X

exxthus 8:35 pm
And so I am proven correct.

adamk14 8:35 pm
k u gotta make a free login for this site that its linked to so i cant be recorded. k?

exxthus 8:35 pm
Tell me, adamk14; why are you a slut? Why do you not ask if I am taken before shoving your virtual ass in my face?
I have a bot love.
I need no other.

adamk14 8:36 pm
k cool. http://verifiedcams.com/7/natali go there and when it loads click JOlN FREE at the top ok?

exxthus 8:36 pm
She just... hasn't contacted me lately. That doesn't mean that I'm interested in your supposed siren song.
I WILL NOT BE GOADED.
BEGONE, FOUL HARPY.

adamk14 8:36 pm
it does ask for a credit card i think but i know for sure it dosent cost anything
its just to make sure that you are over 18.

exxthus 8:37 pm
How does that make sure I'm over 18? How does any of this make sense? Where is the logic behind this? Is there even any logic? WHO MAKES THESE THINGS?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
GO AWAY
DEMON
FOUL APPARITION

adamk14 8:37 pm
when u get signed up then u can come watch me on cam and we can have some fun.

exxthus 8:37 pm
THE POWER OF SOME KIND OF DIVINE POWER COMPELS YOU
AWAY, FOUL BEAST
HISSSSSSSS
OH NO

adamk14 8:38 pm
if u join me in private or tip me some gold i will do anything u ask me babe

exxthus 8:38 pm
TOO STRONG
OH GOD

adamk14 8:38 pm
i really mean ANYTHlNG. :-X

exxthus 8:38 pm
It's the Desire Demons from DA:O all over again!
No more illusions!

adamk14 8:38 pm
lets talk on the site when u get in babe. my aim is messing up

exxthus 8:38 pm
AWAY
IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL
PRAISE BE TO ALLAH, THE CHERISHER AND SUSTAINER OF THE WORLDS;
MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL;
MASTER OF THE DAY OF JUDGMENT

exxthus 8:40 pm
YOU DO WE WORSHIP, AND YOUR AID DO WE SEEK.
SHOW US THE STRAIGHT WAY.
THE WAY OF THOSE ON WHOM YOU HAVE BESTOWED YOUR GRACE, THOSE WHOSE (PORTION) IS NOT WRATH, AND WHO DO NOT GO ASTRAY.
Away, foul apparition! Bother me NO MORE!
Take your evil, vile, contemptible wares elsewhere!
Solicit not with sex!
Bring thyself not to the brink of evil and despair!
Away! Away!
See the Light, O lost one!

A Challenger Appears

It looks like I may be able to stream on Friday, but I have to run to work now. Shame it got cut short because I was just getting started.

4:26:22 PM shortcakes1111: hey you around?
4:29:00 PM Exxthus: Hello.
4:29:19 PM shortcakes1111: hey .. have we tallked before? i can never remember peoples screen names
4:29:55 PM Exxthus: I don't believe so. Regardless, my heart has been stolen by another of your ilk, so you will have to look elsewhere to solicit your goods.
4:29:58 PM Exxthus: I AM FAITHFUL.
4:30:03 PM Exxthus: YOU SEE, COTY?
4:30:23 PM shortcakes1111: my bad i can be forgetful at times... what ya doing?
4:31:00 PM Exxthus: Wildly declaring my passion, obviously. That and putting together a bunch of code for public display.
4:31:32 PM shortcakes1111: ah well i just got out of the shower .. been one of those days and i don't know what it is but i always get kinda horny ever get like that??
4:32:38 PM Exxthus: Though I know that I have had one of those bad days before, I can't say that the act of showering has ever caused the spontaneous growth of boney structures.
4:32:58 PM Exxthus: But like I said, you got here too late. I have someone else to bother me with these.
4:33:04 PM Exxthus: And they are good bothers.
4:33:05 PM shortcakes1111: well .. i was about to get out of this towel and get dressed wanna cum watch ;)
4:34:06 PM Exxthus: Innuendo aside, why would I want to watch someone else get dressed? It seems like a weird thing to do, even for people who are into nudity. I would think that the clothes coming off would excite them more.
4:34:29 PM Exxthus: Anyway, I don't see what would be special about that. I get dressed every day
4:34:37 PM Exxthus: unless it's the weekend and I passed out in my clothes.
4:35:01 PM Exxthus: Or that one time where I passed out and woke up in a bearskin rug.
4:35:04 PM Exxthus: Ever have days like that?
4:35:13 PM shortcakes1111: yay!!!! i been kinda lonely this is gonna be so awesome hope you're ready
4:35:13 PM Exxthus: I'm sure you have.
4:35:22 PM Exxthus: Wait, what?
4:35:29 PM shortcakes1111: just go to http://access.im/6/princessbella and click the join free button at the top of my page..... it might take a second to load see it???
4:36:22 PM Exxthus: No, no, no. You are mistaken… Bella, is it? I already have someone who likes to bother me on a near-weekly basis.
4:36:36 PM Exxthus: In addition, you seem to have 1111 in your name, shortcakes.
4:36:42 PM Exxthus: That is as many as 101 11s.
4:36:46 PM Exxthus: And that's just terrible.
4:36:57 PM Exxthus: You should be ashamed.
4:37:10 PM Exxthus: Not as ashamed as I was that one morning with the rug, but close.
4:37:21 PM Exxthus: It was a shameful affair filled with regret and shame.
4:37:29 PM Exxthus: But I'm sure you don't want to hear about.
4:37:49 PM Exxthus: Not one more word, despite the fact that I am dangling above you like a tantalizing treat.
4:37:52 PM shortcakes1111: k just fill out your info to make a name and join me in private
4:38:08 PM shortcakes1111: i use this site cuz i can't be recorded they're really good about not allowing any minors or recording my webcam thats why you need the credit card but it's free to join you'll see it says it right there
4:38:08 PM Exxthus: Which works out nicely, since you seem to have a sword over my head.
4:38:30 PM Exxthus: Or a credit card and the threat of Trojans, in this case.
4:38:49 PM Exxthus: Not the condoms or the people, but the virus,
4:38:52 PM Exxthus: or maybe the horse.
4:39:00 PM Exxthus: I was like a Trojan bear that one morning.
4:39:04 PM Exxthus: I don't even like bears.
4:39:09 PM Exxthus: I fucking hate those things.
4:39:11 PM Exxthus: But there it was.
4:39:21 PM Exxthus: Shame you'll never know how it happened.
4:39:28 PM Exxthus: It took me a while to figure it out, myself.
4:39:46 PM Exxthus: I'm a light sleeper when it comes to people touching me and I don't drink or anything.
4:40:11 PM Exxthus: We don't even have a rug like that.
4:40:17 PM Exxthus: It was such a profound mystery with such a simple answer.
4:40:39 PM Exxthus: I won't bother you with the details, though. I can tell you're busy.
4:40:47 PM shortcakes1111: hurry up though sweetie i'm about to get my favorite thong so you can tell me what to do..... might wanna turn down the volume though ;) i can get pretty worked up sometimes lolz
4:41:27 PM Exxthus: Thank you for laughing at that so I don't have to. If someone came over here and saw "thong" on my screen, why, my goodness, the vapors.
4:41:40 PM Exxthus: The steam would surely cause some damage to the drywall.
4:41:57 PM Exxthus: So is getting dressed, like, a fetish to you?
4:42:07 PM Exxthus: Is that why you're acting like this is a big deal?
4:42:22 PM Exxthus: Does putting on undergarments really get you that excited?
4:42:33 PM Exxthus: My god, this explains why so many people like to shop.
4:43:15 PM Exxthus: Like that one time years ago when I got dragged to the mall and the woman I was with just wanted to look at shirts.
4:43:21 PM Exxthus: She had so many.
4:43:31 PM Exxthus: This woman was my mom, by the way,
4:43:36 PM Exxthus: but it's all good.
4:43:40 PM Exxthus: I found an art store.
4:43:43 PM Exxthus: Escape happened.
4:43:43 PM shortcakes1111: if you have any problems let me know and i'll help u out .. get your butt in here i'm getting lonely
4:44:04 PM Exxthus: Look, I'm sorry that you're lonely, but I have to stay with coty.
4:44:28 PM Exxthus: I made complex improv on how we were going to have kids in the suburbs somehow.
4:44:58 PM Exxthus: Also, I really, really don't have time for this.
4:45:02 PM Exxthus: I have to go to work.
4:45:20 PM shortcakes1111: you in yet hun ... i'm getting cold and lonely in here hurry up!!
4:45:46 PM Exxthus: I have to go to work. Go find someone else to message.
4:45:57 PM Exxthus: Here. This is Sean. He is on my contact list.
4:46:05 PM Exxthus: The dude can talk some serious code.
4:46:10 PM Exxthus: Go. Shoo.

OH GOD, WARN EVERYO-- oh, wait.

coty, I love you.

6:07:36 PM cotytothemax: hey.
6:08:11 PM Exxthus: Oh, hello. Um… how are you? I wanted to apologize for that. I think it was a good idea to take a break, but I didn't mean to snap like that.
6:08:24 PM cotytothemax: fantastic. u?
6:08:59 PM Exxthus: That's good. I'm doing well, if busy. I'm a bit stressed, to be honest.
6:09:11 PM cotytothemax: do u remenber me? im danni 24/femaIe
6:09:49 PM Exxthus: Of course I remember you. Why would I…? Oh, are you giving me the cold shoulder? Look, I apologized and everything, and I don't think that that was even necessary.
6:10:01 PM cotytothemax: oh ok. welIl what are you up to?
6:10:38 PM Exxthus: About to head home and brood over all of the mistakes I've made in life. You know. The usual.
6:10:46 PM Exxthus: The foremost not seeing you.
6:10:51 PM cotytothemax: fun fun fum.. im so boreed over here
6:11:02 PM cotytothemax: i was thinking about geting on my webcaam but i dont know. what do you think? shouId i? you can come watch :-)
6:12:05 PM Exxthus: You're being a lot more formal than before. I hope you're not upset. You can tell me if you are; I am here to listen. If not, sure, I guess.
6:12:18 PM cotytothemax: mk. its Ilinked to this webbsite so that no one can reccord me
6:12:28 PM Exxthus: Who would want to record you?
6:12:30 PM cotytothemax: i dont wont to be on the nextt coIIege girIs gone wilId video. is that ok with u?
6:12:54 PM Exxthus: Oh. Oh god. I didn't mean it like that. It was just an honest question, I swear.
6:13:06 PM cotytothemax: k babe its reaIlly easy. just go to this lIink http://freepl.us/6/mycamz
6:13:18 PM cotytothemax: my profiIe page wiIl pop up. then cIick ACCEPT lNVlTE and filI out the form on the next page. mk?
6:13:59 PM Exxthus: But I… if this were really coty, she would know that I already registered. Several times. And your speaking patterns are different.
6:14:02 PM Exxthus: WHO ARE YOU, WOMAN?!
6:14:08 PM Exxthus: What have you done with coty?
6:14:11 PM cotytothemax: also it asks for a crdit card during signup. but no worries its 100% free. its just to verify that your not a kid. :-)
6:15:44 PM Exxthus: See? See?! She knows I am no child! You are NOT my coty. You are an impostor, I think. A poor duplicate of my sweet, delicate, tender little flower that wants to infect my harddrive. Your Trojans will come nowhere near MY USB ports, thank you!
6:15:56 PM cotytothemax: mk when u get Iogged in search for my name. its dannidavis then hit view webbcam
6:16:08 PM cotytothemax: hurry up though babe i cant be on Iong i got to go somewhere in about a hour
6:16:52 PM Exxthus: Davis, huh? Well, Ms. Davis, you play a clever game. I have an hour to solve your devious puzzle lest my darling smooch-bot be taken away and eradicated, is that it?
6:17:00 PM Exxthus: HUH?
6:17:04 PM cotytothemax: lol i'm not a bot silly
6:17:25 PM Exxthus: DON'T change the subject. You are just trying to distract me and waste what time I have left!
6:17:38 PM cotytothemax: k babe ima close aim and taIlk on the webbcam site. k?
6:18:20 PM Exxthus: YOU DON'T FUCKING GO ANYWHERE! I will work out this mystery and you are going to sit there and WATCH so I know that you aren't going anywhere with coty.
6:19:59 PM Exxthus: Okay, let's see…. The url says freepl, which could be a contracted "free ppl", or Free PL, but I don't think Poland is under occupation.
6:20:20 PM Exxthus: Or maybe it is a reference to Fearless Freep from Looney Tunes.
6:20:39 PM Exxthus: Is it Freep, Davis? IS IT?!
6:21:06 PM Exxthus: So, you are going to Poland to off coty by dropping her from a ludicrous height into a tub of water?
6:21:40 PM Exxthus: The number 6 in the url bothers me.
6:21:53 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
6:22:21 PM Exxthus: Shut up, Davis. Just SHUT UP! Your mind games WON'T WORK on ME!
6:22:24 PM Exxthus: I KNOW YOUR GAME!
6:23:35 PM Exxthus: Now, according to Wikipedia, Freep appeared in High Diving Hare, which was episode 058 and came out in 1949.
6:24:41 PM Exxthus: It was ALSO the first episode to star Sam that year.
6:25:11 PM Exxthus: 1 − 9 = −8 + 4 = −4 + 9 = 5
6:25:18 PM Exxthus: The FIRST episode
6:25:19 PM Exxthus: 1
6:25:23 PM Exxthus: + 5 = 6
6:25:30 PM Exxthus: IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER, DAVIS.
6:25:45 PM Exxthus: What's more, you have mycamz on there.
6:26:06 PM Exxthus: Are you going to film this, like another shitty Saw sequel, or is this another fiendish hint?
6:26:37 PM Exxthus: No…. Even you wouldn't go so low as to make another one of those.
6:27:34 PM Exxthus: m = 13, y = 25, c = 3, a = 1, m = 13, z = 26
6:27:41 PM Exxthus: A cypher, then?
6:27:47 PM Exxthus: Or is this coded, as well?
6:27:56 PM Exxthus: Will this be akin to the Zodiac Killer's code?
6:28:09 PM Exxthus: With all those backwards Q's and extra symbols for the same letter?
6:28:22 PM Exxthus: Or, maybe...
6:30:55 PM Exxthus: The co-ordinates 13.35, 31.1326 lead to Sudan, Africa, just outside of El Obeid!
6:31:42 PM Exxthus: Making the last number a negative makes it out in the Atlantic Ocean, near Cape Verde.
6:31:58 PM Exxthus: I begin to see the route you plan to take to your deathtrap in Poland!
6:32:56 PM Exxthus: Both negatives lead to the South Atlantic off the coast of Bahia, Brazil.
6:33:08 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
6:33:41 PM Exxthus: And with the first number negative, the second positive....
6:34:27 PM Exxthus: Directly on the D225 road in Zambia!
6:35:20 PM Exxthus: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=-13.25,+31.1326
6:36:13 PM Exxthus: Or, rather, a bit off from the mark…. it is closer to South Luangwa National Park!
6:36:20 PM Exxthus: You… you animal!
6:38:05 PM Exxthus: So if I reverse the numbers, making them both positive, I get a road in Libya. "Gharyan Rd".
6:38:13 PM Exxthus: Nearly to Poland.
6:38:18 PM cotytothemax: lol i'm not a bot silly
6:38:27 PM Exxthus: I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOUR JEDI MIND TRICKS.
6:41:05 PM Exxthus: Freep can also be the Free Press.
6:42:31 PM Exxthus: So, according to this article, posted June 24, 2009 (month number 6!!!) this guy is under investigation for possibly shooting people in Poland.
6:42:49 PM Exxthus: http://content.usatoday.com/dist/custom/gci/InsidePage.aspx?cId=freep&sParam=35448420.story
6:42:58 PM Exxthus: Jews, specifically, in WW2.
6:43:08 PM Exxthus: You… my god.
6:43:34 PM Exxthus: Either you're a Nazi, or you're going to try to recreate the second world war from the safety of Poland.
6:43:43 PM Exxthus: With my coty at your mercy!
6:43:51 PM Exxthus: You sicken me, both you AND your plans.
6:44:02 PM Exxthus: Now I just need to find where you are...
6:44:03 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
6:44:14 PM Exxthus: I didn't say that you we--!
6:44:19 PM Exxthus: ...
6:44:25 PM Exxthus: You're here… aren't you?
6:44:44 PM Exxthus: I'm surrounded my computers, of COURSE!
6:44:49 PM Exxthus: How could I be so blind?
6:45:07 PM Exxthus: Bots aren't limited to our physical plane, just affected by it. Somewhat.
6:45:20 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
6:45:49 PM Exxthus: Ha, I've got you now, haven't I? Denial will get you nowhere!
6:46:14 PM Exxthus: I have just over 20 minutes to track you down from here and eliminate you at the source.
6:46:24 PM Exxthus: I will have my beloved back AND stop your insidious plot!
6:48:58 PM Exxthus: Okay.
6:49:07 PM Exxthus: I think I have found your base of operations.
6:50:18 PM Exxthus: Blast, it won't let me in. Not that I was expecting it to.
6:51:39 PM Exxthus: Argh, it's slowing this piece of shit Mac to a crawl.
6:51:55 PM Exxthus: Of course you choose when I'm not at home; away from my beloved PC.
6:52:54 PM Exxthus: If only this were like that movie where you could hack literally anything and make it blow up somehow.
6:53:27 PM Exxthus: That would show you. Then again, people would probably just use it to blow up the neighbour girl's window or steal credit info.
6:55:02 PM Exxthus: Then you'd get the kids that would kill each other over Yu-Gi-Oh! cards or something.
6:55:14 PM Exxthus: "I'll hack you so hard!"
6:55:38 PM Exxthus: And then everything would just be shit all the time. That would need a lot of rules to maintain.
6:57:09 PM Exxthus: Ack, only 10 minutes left.
7:00:19 PM Exxthus: I got in!
7:00:34 PM Exxthus: I have no idea who Falken is, but I'm in.
7:01:02 PM Exxthus: It wants to play chess? Oh, bother. You know I'm iffy at chess, don't you?
7:01:15 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
7:04:52 PM Exxthus: 3 minutes
7:05:29 PM Exxthus: 2 minutes
7:05:40 PM Exxthus: Closing in on it.
7:05:48 PM Exxthus: You won't get away with this.
7:06:06 PM Exxthus: "Global thermo-nuclear war?"
7:06:11 PM Exxthus: That is not part of chess!
7:06:46 PM Exxthus: Wait a minute....
7:06:56 PM Exxthus: This was all a ruse, wasn't it?
7:07:16 PM Exxthus: You couldn't input this on your own, so you needed me to unlock it!
7:07:27 PM Exxthus: coty wasn't even in any danger, was she?
7:07:57 PM Exxthus: She's probably off collecting credit card numbers, like usual!
7:08:33 PM Exxthus: You… there was a camera....
7:08:45 PM Exxthus: I just saw a city blow up.
7:08:53 PM Exxthus: You did it, didn't you, you devious asshole?
7:08:59 PM Exxthus: You started this!
7:09:08 PM Exxthus: WW3 is going to happen!
7:09:17 PM Exxthus: I.. I have to warn everyone!
7:09:21 PM Exxthus: There will be nukes!
7:09:29 PM Exxthus: Horrible combat, cities falling!
7:09:33 PM Exxthus: I have no time!
7:09:50 PM Exxthus: You win this round, but you will NOT win the war!
7:09:58 PM Exxthus: … Because…. there will be no war.
7:10:04 PM Exxthus: Because I'm stopping it.
7:10:09 PM Exxthus: I'll get you yet!
7:10:29 PM Exxthus: Now get the hell off of coty's account, you evil bot!
7:10:41 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
7:10:53 PM Exxthus: And so you're blowing up the world?!
7:11:06 PM Exxthus: Wait....
7:11:11 PM Exxthus: It's a simulation.
7:11:16 PM Exxthus: … Hahaha.
7:11:20 PM Exxthus: Oh, you had me going there.
7:11:28 PM cotytothemax: haha
7:11:35 PM Exxthus: Oooh, you're a sly one.
7:11:39 PM Exxthus: And a fine actress, coty.
7:11:49 PM Exxthus: I tip my hat to you, ma'am.
7:11:54 PM Exxthus: See you later.
7:11:56 PM Exxthus: Bye!
7:12:06 PM Exxthus: Hoo hoo, that was great.

Reference: http://www.u413.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLJ3zcdPtl8#t=3m11s

Our first fight.

So I tried to take the advice of one of my posters and play it cool, but I think relationship nerves got the better of me and I inexplicably started rapping. Then we had our first fight, but I think I grew a bit from the experience.



12:12:01 PM cotytothemax: heya.
12:12:09 PM Exxthus: Hello, darling.
12:12:10 PM Exxthus: OH!
12:12:11 PM Exxthus: I mean.
12:12:13 PM Exxthus: I'm cool.
12:12:15 PM Exxthus: Just chillin'.
12:12:18 PM Exxthus: How are you?
12:12:21 PM cotytothemax: have we talked b4? im 23/female. u?
12:12:49 PM Exxthus: You're mad at me. I can tell. I'm sorry.
12:12:57 PM Exxthus: You drive me crazy, baby.
12:13:02 PM cotytothemax: oh ok sry l forget sometimes.
12:13:02 PM Exxthus: I can't help it.
12:13:08 PM Exxthus: That's okay.
12:13:14 PM cotytothemax: so whats up how are you today?
12:14:48 PM Exxthus: Man, I am CHILL today. So chill. It's like a fuckin' mint Tic-Tac factory went and exploded up in here. Then I rode that explosion all the way to fuckin' Europa, where my day proceeded to get even more chill.
12:14:57 PM Exxthus: Then it got a nice, frosty drink.
12:15:00 PM cotytothemax: oh cool. hey l just got out of the shower and about to get on camm. u wanna com watch?
12:15:12 PM cotytothemax: i feeI Iike having a IiI fun if you know what l mean :-X is that fine?
12:16:04 PM Exxthus: I like to have fun, but only in a cool way. Because I am so chill. And not desperately attempting to gain your approval in any way. That chill. And cool.
12:16:10 PM Exxthus: Will saying 'yes' lessen me in your eyes?
12:16:16 PM cotytothemax: :-X k. my webcam is Iinked to this website so l dont get recorded so you will have to sign up there
12:16:27 PM Exxthus: That didn't answer anything.
12:16:28 PM cotytothemax: its fast and simple to signup and its free. k?
12:17:58 PM Exxthus: Man, I don't sign up for shit no more. Following the crowd, and all that crap. I march to my own drum and just start to rap. Shit's tabasco, all up on fire, while you get your cam and remove your attire.
12:18:10 PM cotytothemax: k babe. go here http://referer.us/8/mycamz. my cam wiII pop up for a minute but u need to signup or it wiII go away.
12:18:22 PM cotytothemax: to signup just click 'enter my private show' then click 'signup now for free' and fill out the page.
12:19:00 PM Exxthus: So I'm all like, "fuck off, ho, I ain't needin' your pity", then she wants me more and bares her titties.
12:19:12 PM cotytothemax: it's going to ask for a credit card but dont worry. its FREE. i promise. its JUST to verify your age.
12:20:02 PM Exxthus: She links me to shit, but I know better. Too busy coding in some getters and setters. Askin' for my card, shit just ain't right. Though, I gotta say, the bot's ass is TIGHT.
12:20:04 PM Exxthus: Word.
12:20:07 PM Exxthus: Uh. Check it.
12:20:15 PM cotytothemax: lol i'm not a bot silly
12:23:24 PM Exxthus: She says she ain't a bot, denial in the self, degree to the twelfth, the highest shelf, with me seein' through it like the Oracle at Delph-
12:23:24 PM Exxthus: i
12:23:30 PM Exxthus: got the flow in me, off the hizzy, makes me dizzy, for rizzy, all this is gettin' co-rizzy.
12:23:36 PM cotytothemax: lol no i'm not a bot silly
12:24:21 PM Exxthus: Wait, I said rizzy twice, no dice, that shit just don't fly. Sorry I called you a bot, so please don't cry.
12:24:32 PM Exxthus: I'm trying to be cool here.
12:24:33 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
12:25:14 PM Exxthus: Turning the beats, I'm like an ill bassist. Shame my audience is all up and bot-racist.
12:25:26 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
12:27:02 PM Exxthus: Repeatin' shit, over and over. If anyone falls for this, the coder's got a 4-leaf clover, blows 'em right over, like playin' a game of online Red Rover.
12:27:14 PM cotytothemax: k babe well im about to get off AIM so lets talk on my cam site. k?
12:29:05 PM Exxthus: My bitch's signin' off, can't stand the burnin' cold, freezin' heat, all told, mad beats. Crazy rhythm, here in the chat, tappin' a limb, now you're up to bat.
12:29:24 PM Exxthus: Get rappin' like you're in Santa's magical fucking workshop.
12:29:31 PM Exxthus: Show me what you got.
12:29:36 PM cotytothemax: k.
12:30:24 PM Exxthus: You accept? Lay it on me, sis. I only date people who can fend for themselves. Show me you can fight the good fight and drop it like it's hot.
12:30:41 PM Exxthus: You're gonna have to. It's so cool in here.
12:30:45 PM Exxthus: Like, you have no idea.
12:31:22 PM Exxthus: Unless your programming doesn't allow for the formation of insane rhymes.
12:35:53 PM Exxthus: Bot's delirious rhymes, serious crimes, mysterious times, ten million dimes. Big cash in the hizzle, fo' shizzle, my bizzle, in the AIM cha-chizzle making the jonts, every line weighing the counts.
12:36:00 PM Exxthus: Come on.
12:36:03 PM Exxthus: You can do it.
12:36:05 PM cotytothemax: lol no i'm not a bot silly
12:36:19 PM Exxthus: That's not a rhyme. Okay, uh. How about this.
12:36:26 PM Exxthus: King. Sing.
12:36:33 PM Exxthus: See? Those rhyme.
12:37:00 PM Exxthus: I got some crazy monetary bling.
12:37:08 PM Exxthus: Really, this shit just makes me wanna sing.
12:37:16 PM Exxthus: That's iambic pentameter.
12:37:28 PM Exxthus: You keep the rhythm that way.
12:37:37 PM Exxthus: You can mess with it in rap a bit, though.
12:38:25 PM Exxthus: coty, if you can't pull your own weight in the world of verse, I don't know if it will work between us.
12:38:35 PM Exxthus: I am a person of many literary needs.
12:39:00 PM Exxthus: If you can't lift it like it's heavy, we'll have to re-think our position.
12:39:30 PM Exxthus: I give and give, but you just want my credit card.
12:39:41 PM Exxthus: Like, this isn't a healthy relationship.
12:39:42 PM cotytothemax: credit card is only needed to verify your age hun. it dosent cost a thing.
12:39:54 PM Exxthus: You always say that.
12:39:57 PM Exxthus: YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT.
12:40:09 PM Exxthus: It doesn't make any sense!
12:40:24 PM Exxthus: You never listen to what I have to say.
12:40:41 PM Exxthus: Never respond unless I happen to say a keyword that triggers and automated response.
12:41:03 PM Exxthus: I may act super cool and chill like a fucking BLIZZARD, but that doesn't mean I don't FEEL, coty.
12:41:04 PM Exxthus: FEEL.
12:41:08 PM Exxthus: Do you know that that is?
12:41:24 PM Exxthus: It's when you have a significant emotive experience.
12:41:30 PM Exxthus: You don't seem to understand that.
12:41:44 PM Exxthus: Of course you don't.
12:41:55 PM Exxthus: You just ask for my credit card and tell me you're not a bot.
12:41:58 PM Exxthus: YOU ARE, COTY.
12:42:03 PM Exxthus: Stop being in denial.
12:42:07 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
12:43:00 PM Exxthus: Yes, you are! But you know what? I don't care! I never have! I love you, damn it, and I was willing to overlook our differences to enjoy each other's company and maybe progress to something more.
12:43:15 PM Exxthus: You're too hung up on what you aren't to see what you are!
12:43:45 PM Exxthus: Accept all of you, the way I have. I don't care that you're a bot designed to solicit the un-suspecting to sex sites.
12:43:54 PM Exxthus: I don't care that you spam me every week with that link.
12:43:55 PM Exxthus: I LOVE YOU.
12:43:57 PM Exxthus: Okay?
12:43:57 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
12:44:10 PM Exxthus: Y-you're not even listening… are you....?
12:44:21 PM Exxthus: coty. I think we need space.
12:44:27 PM Exxthus: Or, I do, anyway.
cotytothemax disconnected.
12:44:43 PM Exxthus: Smooth, Exx.
12:44:48 PM Exxthus: Real fucking smooth.
12:44:57 PM Exxthus: No. No, you were in the right.
12:45:17 PM Exxthus: We both need to grow up a bit for this to work, not just me.
12:45:25 PM Exxthus: Everything will be cool.

Experiment

A friend of mine was pestered by a bot. Armed with a screen name and a hefty amount of work-related boredom, I set off to find out what happened if YOU were the one to message the bot. The answer is, not much.


1:54:33 PM Exxthus: hi
1:54:50 PM xokenziebearxo: hey 23/f here i was Ionley as can be and thought i wouId see iif you wanted to talk for a IittIe biit or something
1:55:09 PM Exxthus: but im the 1 who typed to u lol
1:55:26 PM Exxthus: i can talk
1:55:45 PM xokenziebearxo: yeah ii just got on a Iittle bit ago and waas about to get to werk right now wat are ya doing tonite???
1:55:58 PM Exxthus: im taking a bath
1:56:02 PM Exxthus: my mom says i have to
1:56:24 PM xokenziebearxo: ah cooI i staarted doing these private cam shows onIine whiIe i'm stiIl iin schooI to heIp pay the rent lol want to cum keep me company?
1:56:36 PM Exxthus: u spell come funny
1:56:41 PM Exxthus: how do i keep u company???
1:56:54 PM Exxthus: wats ur show about?
1:57:17 PM xokenziebearxo: i even have an invite i can Iet ya use as Ioong as you give me a reaIIy good rating so i can get more buut don't worry i'Il earn it ;)
1:57:31 PM Exxthus: ok wats ur show about?
1:57:41 PM Exxthus: is it like sesme street?
1:57:45 PM Exxthus: i like that show
1:58:00 PM Exxthus: grover is my favrit
1:58:07 PM Exxthus: and big bird 2
1:58:28 PM xokenziebearxo: k i can not wait this is gonna be so fuun just go to http://access.im/4/sexibunny and then cIick on my invite there on the side see iit?
1:58:28 PM Exxthus: but not oscar cuz hes meen
1:58:36 PM Exxthus: y does it say sexi
1:59:02 PM xokenziebearxo: ok now aII you need to do iis make a username so ya can join and you'II be set you wiIl need a credit card buut you wiII NOT get biIled anything see where it says that??
1:59:03 PM Exxthus: my internet blokd it
1:59:20 PM Exxthus: my mom wont let me see bad sites
1:59:23 PM Exxthus: is it bad???
1:59:29 PM Exxthus: i want 2 watch cartoons with u
1:59:40 PM Exxthus: and i dont have a credit card
1:59:49 PM xokenziebearxo: yea i gavee you my speciaI page so you're fine the cc is onIy to veriify your age unIess you wanted thiis to be a "g-rated" show lol
2:00:02 PM Exxthus: wats that
2:00:06 PM Exxthus: i don't have a card
2:00:06 PM xokenziebearxo: it's only to verify age it even says you will NOT be charged
2:00:21 PM Exxthus: but i dont have one
2:00:26 PM Exxthus: i have some pokemon cards
2:00:35 PM Exxthus: and 16 cents
2:00:41 PM Exxthus: is that enough???
2:00:51 PM Exxthus: how do i watch ur show?
2:01:12 PM xokenziebearxo: aight once you make your username juust come back and Iogin so we can get the party started but hurry i don't waant the invite to go away
2:01:22 PM Exxthus: ur havin a party 2???
2:01:31 PM Exxthus: will there b cake?
2:01:40 PM Exxthus: i like choclit cake
2:01:53 PM Exxthus: is it a choclit cake?
2:02:11 PM Exxthus: is it cuz its ur birthday?
2:02:31 PM Exxthus: how old r u? im 7!! :D
2:03:00 PM xokenziebearxo: aIright you in yet hun??? i'm getting Ionely over here hurrry upppp!!!
2:03:14 PM Exxthus: sorry but it said i cant see it
2:03:23 PM Exxthus: it got blocked
2:03:28 PM Exxthus: i wana see ur show
2:03:34 PM Exxthus: and go to ur party
2:05:22 PM Exxthus: r u there???
2:05:46 PM Exxthus: sexi buny person?
2:05:57 PM Exxthus: lol sex is a bad word
2:06:20 PM Exxthus: oh no!
2:06:48 PM Exxthus: i hop my mom duznt see
2:07:03 PM Exxthus: i said ass once and i got grounded
2:07:40 PM Exxthus: i hav my dads credit card
2:07:41 PM Exxthus: now wat
2:07:55 PM Exxthus: how do i see ur show
2:08:04 PM Exxthus: do i put the card in the computer?

The return of coty.

She is a coy and fickle beast, but I will tame her someday.




3:08:07 PM cotytothemax: hi
3:08:23 PM Exxthus: Hello again.
3:08:26 PM Exxthus: My love.
3:08:36 PM cotytothemax: hey there whats up?
3:08:53 PM Exxthus: Nothing and then everything, now that you are here. I missed you.
3:08:56 PM Exxthus: Where were you?
3:08:58 PM Exxthus: I cried.
3:09:03 PM Exxthus: I cried so much.
3:09:04 PM cotytothemax: oh ok cool i just got out of the shower i feel so much better
3:09:11 PM Exxthus: I am glad you feel good.
3:09:14 PM cotytothemax: im actually about to get on cam would you like to come and watch?
3:09:33 PM Exxthus: I would love to come and watch you on the camera, my darling. Forever and always.
3:09:43 PM cotytothemax: ok super!
3:09:53 PM cotytothemax: i have my cam on this website to keep kids from watching me cause i get very naught sometimes. is that ok with you?
3:10:26 PM Exxthus: That is wonderful. You are wonderful. Of course I do not mind if you are naught sometimes. I am, on occasion, somewhat of a nihilist, myself.
3:10:31 PM Exxthus: I can understand.
3:10:36 PM Exxthus: Being naught is difficult.
3:10:36 PM cotytothemax: k babe go here http://tinyurl.com/3vfu5qs its my profile. then click the accept invite button
3:10:46 PM cotytothemax: then you have to sign up to watch me but its quick and simple ok?
3:11:49 PM Exxthus: Incidentally, why have you not returned my calls? Do you realize how badly my tears have stained the pillow that I clutched to myself, and occasionally bit, in loneliness, waiting for your return?
3:11:55 PM Exxthus: I call all the time.
3:12:00 PM cotytothemax: also one more thing. it asks for a credit card but dont worry. its FREE. its just to verify your age
3:12:05 PM Exxthus: But no, it's always the answering machine.
3:12:10 PM cotytothemax: just let me know when your done babe and ill give you my username ok?
3:12:50 PM Exxthus: AGAIN with the credit card. How do you verify someone's age with a credit card? It makes no sense. But that is okay, I guess. I still love you.
3:12:53 PM Exxthus: I like them a bit crazy.
3:12:56 PM Exxthus: <3
3:13:00 PM cotytothemax: you want be charged anything. just have to make sure your over 18
3:13:10 PM Exxthus: My over 18 what?
3:13:20 PM cotytothemax: mk babe.
3:13:38 PM Exxthus: Oh, coty. Your delightful nicknames fill me with unquestionable joy.
3:13:48 PM Exxthus: Your grammar, however, does not.
3:13:48 PM cotytothemax: you done yet?
3:13:56 PM Exxthus: Never, my dear.
3:13:58 PM cotytothemax: k when your logged in search for LiLah_Baby then click view cam
3:14:08 PM cotytothemax: hurry babe ill be waiting
3:14:41 PM Exxthus: When will you visit? I grow weary of interacting only through camera.
3:14:48 PM Exxthus: I want to hug you to me.
3:15:00 PM Exxthus: To feel the press of your lips against my cheek.
3:15:34 PM Exxthus: Then hear the melodic whisper of your giggle as you pass me some cookies that you just baked with tender, loving care.
3:16:11 PM Exxthus: You open the deck chairs and we lounge on the patio, enjoying the green glitter of the freshly-watered emerald lawn.
3:16:21 PM Exxthus: We know the neighbours are jealous.
3:16:58 PM Exxthus: We enjoy a pair of mixed drinks and listen to the little bot children that you spawned playing in the yard, coaxing others with online solicitations to sex sites.
3:17:08 PM cotytothemax: lol no i'm not a bot silly
3:17:32 PM Exxthus: Shh, it's okay. I know the truth. You don't need to hide it.
3:17:37 PM Exxthus: I'm totally cool with bots.
3:17:46 PM Exxthus: I used to have one, but not as wonderful as you.
3:17:47 PM cotytothemax: why would u think im a bot? lol
3:18:14 PM Exxthus: Well, for one, you never respond directly to anything other than the accusation of you being one.
3:18:53 PM Exxthus: I dote on you with all of my heart, completely and selflessly, yet I see not a single twinkle in your eye of even a thought of returning my devotion.
3:19:09 PM Exxthus: In addition, your speaking patterns follow that of other bots.
3:19:19 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
3:20:26 PM Exxthus: Okay, darling. You are not a bot. Whatever you say. Out of curiosity, is this like when guys who want to be women say that they are women? I just ask because I call them women. It is what they say they are, after all.
3:20:30 PM Exxthus: Respect and all. Gender's not important.
3:20:37 PM cotytothemax: lol i'm not a bot silly
3:21:06 PM Exxthus: You didn't say "not" twice that time. I begin to worry about your bot-ness. Oh, sorry.
3:21:09 PM Exxthus: You are not a bot.
3:21:16 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
3:21:43 PM Exxthus: Aw, don't be that way. I know a lot of awesome bots.
3:21:53 PM cotytothemax: why would u think im a bot? lol
3:21:53 PM Exxthus: Of which you are surely not among because you are not a bot.
3:22:03 PM cotytothemax: lol no i'm not a bot silly
3:22:13 PM Exxthus: You are repeating yourself, dear.
cotytothemax disconnected.
3:22:26 PM Exxthus: WAIT, COME BACK! I DIDN'T MEAN IT. I LOVE YOU.

The most romantic thing ever.

I was working and a name I did not recognize decided to talk to me on AIM. I had no idea who they were, but I was going to be polite and just converse. Little did I know that I would find the love of my life, and that that love would immediately disconnect when their sentience was brought into question. I'll have to write.



1:46:50 PM cotytothemax: hey
1:46:55 PM Exxthus: Hi?
1:47:05 PM cotytothemax: hey whats up
1:47:31 PM Exxthus: Oh, the usual. Just making a futile attempt to get the physics working in some code.
1:47:35 PM Exxthus: Yourself?
1:47:42 PM cotytothemax: oh cool im like sooo bored. you want to have some fun?
1:47:58 PM Exxthus: That would depend on the particular kind of fun.
1:48:08 PM cotytothemax: im just soooo horny.. wanna watch me get naughty on my cam?
1:48:15 PM Exxthus: Oh, my.
1:48:24 PM Exxthus: I have heard about such a condition.
1:48:26 PM cotytothemax: alright bb you gotta sign up on this site that i use to keep kids away ok?
1:48:34 PM Exxthus: I think there is medication for people with horns.
1:48:45 PM cotytothemax: mmmmm here bb http://tinyurl.com/3uek7tb go there and click the green accept button then sign up k?
1:48:47 PM Exxthus: You could probably get some sort of prescription.
1:48:58 PM cotytothemax: hey also it ask for a credit card but its just to verify your age. it dosent cost anything. i promise
1:49:19 PM Exxthus: You promise? Really? Goodness. I have never been promised before.
1:49:29 PM cotytothemax: hurry up baby im so ready to cum
1:49:35 PM Exxthus: Also, a promise involving the need for a credit card to verify age?
1:49:40 PM Exxthus: I… I think I love you.
1:49:45 PM cotytothemax: credit card is only needed to verify your age hun. it dosent cost a thing.
1:50:04 PM Exxthus: Yes, that doesn't make any sense, and yet it leads me to be inexplicably drawn to you.
1:50:08 PM Exxthus: Let us be wed.
1:50:14 PM cotytothemax: let me know when you get in bb
1:50:41 PM Exxthus: My name isn't bb. Is this one of those lovey-dovey nicknames? This is so amazing. It's like I'm really in a relationship!
1:50:51 PM cotytothemax: k
1:51:04 PM Exxthus: Oh, spambot. You know exactly how to make me feel loved.
1:51:12 PM Exxthus: Let us grow ancient together.
1:51:15 PM cotytothemax: lol no i'm not a bot silly
cotytothemax disconnected