coty, I love you.
6:07:36 PM cotytothemax: hey.
6:08:11 PM Exxthus: Oh, hello. Um… how are you? I wanted to apologize for that. I think it was a good idea to take a break, but I didn't mean to snap like that.
6:08:24 PM cotytothemax: fantastic. u?
6:08:59 PM Exxthus: That's good. I'm doing well, if busy. I'm a bit stressed, to be honest.
6:09:11 PM cotytothemax: do u remenber me? im danni 24/femaIe
6:09:49 PM Exxthus: Of course I remember you. Why would I…? Oh, are you giving me the cold shoulder? Look, I apologized and everything, and I don't think that that was even necessary.
6:10:01 PM cotytothemax: oh ok. welIl what are you up to?
6:10:38 PM Exxthus: About to head home and brood over all of the mistakes I've made in life. You know. The usual.
6:10:46 PM Exxthus: The foremost not seeing you.
6:10:51 PM cotytothemax: fun fun fum.. im so boreed over here
6:11:02 PM cotytothemax: i was thinking about geting on my webcaam but i dont know. what do you think? shouId i? you can come watch :-)
6:12:05 PM Exxthus: You're being a lot more formal than before. I hope you're not upset. You can tell me if you are; I am here to listen. If not, sure, I guess.
6:12:18 PM cotytothemax: mk. its Ilinked to this webbsite so that no one can reccord me
6:12:28 PM Exxthus: Who would want to record you?
6:12:30 PM cotytothemax: i dont wont to be on the nextt coIIege girIs gone wilId video. is that ok with u?
6:12:54 PM Exxthus: Oh. Oh god. I didn't mean it like that. It was just an honest question, I swear.
6:13:06 PM cotytothemax: k babe its reaIlly easy. just go to this lIink http://freepl.us/6/mycamz
6:13:18 PM cotytothemax: my profiIe page wiIl pop up. then cIick ACCEPT lNVlTE and filI out the form on the next page. mk?
6:13:59 PM Exxthus: But I… if this were really coty, she would know that I already registered. Several times. And your speaking patterns are different.
6:14:02 PM Exxthus: WHO ARE YOU, WOMAN?!
6:14:08 PM Exxthus: What have you done with coty?
6:14:11 PM cotytothemax: also it asks for a crdit card during signup. but no worries its 100% free. its just to verify that your not a kid. :-)
6:15:44 PM Exxthus: See? See?! She knows I am no child! You are NOT my coty. You are an impostor, I think. A poor duplicate of my sweet, delicate, tender little flower that wants to infect my harddrive. Your Trojans will come nowhere near MY USB ports, thank you!
6:15:56 PM cotytothemax: mk when u get Iogged in search for my name. its dannidavis then hit view webbcam
6:16:08 PM cotytothemax: hurry up though babe i cant be on Iong i got to go somewhere in about a hour
6:16:52 PM Exxthus: Davis, huh? Well, Ms. Davis, you play a clever game. I have an hour to solve your devious puzzle lest my darling smooch-bot be taken away and eradicated, is that it?
6:17:00 PM Exxthus: HUH?
6:17:04 PM cotytothemax: lol i'm not a bot silly
6:17:25 PM Exxthus: DON'T change the subject. You are just trying to distract me and waste what time I have left!
6:17:38 PM cotytothemax: k babe ima close aim and taIlk on the webbcam site. k?
6:18:20 PM Exxthus: YOU DON'T FUCKING GO ANYWHERE! I will work out this mystery and you are going to sit there and WATCH so I know that you aren't going anywhere with coty.
6:19:59 PM Exxthus: Okay, let's see…. The url says freepl, which could be a contracted "free ppl", or Free PL, but I don't think Poland is under occupation.
6:20:20 PM Exxthus: Or maybe it is a reference to Fearless Freep from Looney Tunes.
6:20:39 PM Exxthus: Is it Freep, Davis? IS IT?!
6:21:06 PM Exxthus: So, you are going to Poland to off coty by dropping her from a ludicrous height into a tub of water?
6:21:40 PM Exxthus: The number 6 in the url bothers me.
6:21:53 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
6:22:21 PM Exxthus: Shut up, Davis. Just SHUT UP! Your mind games WON'T WORK on ME!
6:22:24 PM Exxthus: I KNOW YOUR GAME!
6:23:35 PM Exxthus: Now, according to Wikipedia, Freep appeared in High Diving Hare, which was episode 058 and came out in 1949.
6:24:41 PM Exxthus: It was ALSO the first episode to star Sam that year.
6:25:11 PM Exxthus: 1 − 9 = −8 + 4 = −4 + 9 = 5
6:25:18 PM Exxthus: The FIRST episode
6:25:19 PM Exxthus: 1
6:25:23 PM Exxthus: + 5 = 6
6:25:30 PM Exxthus: IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER, DAVIS.
6:25:45 PM Exxthus: What's more, you have mycamz on there.
6:26:06 PM Exxthus: Are you going to film this, like another shitty Saw sequel, or is this another fiendish hint?
6:26:37 PM Exxthus: No…. Even you wouldn't go so low as to make another one of those.
6:27:34 PM Exxthus: m = 13, y = 25, c = 3, a = 1, m = 13, z = 26
6:27:41 PM Exxthus: A cypher, then?
6:27:47 PM Exxthus: Or is this coded, as well?
6:27:56 PM Exxthus: Will this be akin to the Zodiac Killer's code?
6:28:09 PM Exxthus: With all those backwards Q's and extra symbols for the same letter?
6:28:22 PM Exxthus: Or, maybe...
6:30:55 PM Exxthus: The co-ordinates 13.35, 31.1326 lead to Sudan, Africa, just outside of El Obeid!
6:31:42 PM Exxthus: Making the last number a negative makes it out in the Atlantic Ocean, near Cape Verde.
6:31:58 PM Exxthus: I begin to see the route you plan to take to your deathtrap in Poland!
6:32:56 PM Exxthus: Both negatives lead to the South Atlantic off the coast of Bahia, Brazil.
6:33:08 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
6:33:41 PM Exxthus: And with the first number negative, the second positive....
6:34:27 PM Exxthus: Directly on the D225 road in Zambia!
6:35:20 PM Exxthus: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=-13.25,+31.1326
6:36:13 PM Exxthus: Or, rather, a bit off from the mark…. it is closer to South Luangwa National Park!
6:36:20 PM Exxthus: You… you animal!
6:38:05 PM Exxthus: So if I reverse the numbers, making them both positive, I get a road in Libya. "Gharyan Rd".
6:38:13 PM Exxthus: Nearly to Poland.
6:38:18 PM cotytothemax: lol i'm not a bot silly
6:38:27 PM Exxthus: I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOUR JEDI MIND TRICKS.
6:41:05 PM Exxthus: Freep can also be the Free Press.
6:42:31 PM Exxthus: So, according to this article, posted June 24, 2009 (month number 6!!!) this guy is under investigation for possibly shooting people in Poland.
6:42:49 PM Exxthus: http://content.usatoday.com/dist/custom/gci/InsidePage.aspx?cId=freep&sParam=35448420.story
6:42:58 PM Exxthus: Jews, specifically, in WW2.
6:43:08 PM Exxthus: You… my god.
6:43:34 PM Exxthus: Either you're a Nazi, or you're going to try to recreate the second world war from the safety of Poland.
6:43:43 PM Exxthus: With my coty at your mercy!
6:43:51 PM Exxthus: You sicken me, both you AND your plans.
6:44:02 PM Exxthus: Now I just need to find where you are...
6:44:03 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
6:44:14 PM Exxthus: I didn't say that you we--!
6:44:19 PM Exxthus: ...
6:44:25 PM Exxthus: You're here… aren't you?
6:44:44 PM Exxthus: I'm surrounded my computers, of COURSE!
6:44:49 PM Exxthus: How could I be so blind?
6:45:07 PM Exxthus: Bots aren't limited to our physical plane, just affected by it. Somewhat.
6:45:20 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
6:45:49 PM Exxthus: Ha, I've got you now, haven't I? Denial will get you nowhere!
6:46:14 PM Exxthus: I have just over 20 minutes to track you down from here and eliminate you at the source.
6:46:24 PM Exxthus: I will have my beloved back AND stop your insidious plot!
6:48:58 PM Exxthus: Okay.
6:49:07 PM Exxthus: I think I have found your base of operations.
6:50:18 PM Exxthus: Blast, it won't let me in. Not that I was expecting it to.
6:51:39 PM Exxthus: Argh, it's slowing this piece of shit Mac to a crawl.
6:51:55 PM Exxthus: Of course you choose when I'm not at home; away from my beloved PC.
6:52:54 PM Exxthus: If only this were like that movie where you could hack literally anything and make it blow up somehow.
6:53:27 PM Exxthus: That would show you. Then again, people would probably just use it to blow up the neighbour girl's window or steal credit info.
6:55:02 PM Exxthus: Then you'd get the kids that would kill each other over Yu-Gi-Oh! cards or something.
6:55:14 PM Exxthus: "I'll hack you so hard!"
6:55:38 PM Exxthus: And then everything would just be shit all the time. That would need a lot of rules to maintain.
6:57:09 PM Exxthus: Ack, only 10 minutes left.
7:00:19 PM Exxthus: I got in!
7:00:34 PM Exxthus: I have no idea who Falken is, but I'm in.
7:01:02 PM Exxthus: It wants to play chess? Oh, bother. You know I'm iffy at chess, don't you?
7:01:15 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
7:04:52 PM Exxthus: 3 minutes
7:05:29 PM Exxthus: 2 minutes
7:05:40 PM Exxthus: Closing in on it.
7:05:48 PM Exxthus: You won't get away with this.
7:06:06 PM Exxthus: "Global thermo-nuclear war?"
7:06:11 PM Exxthus: That is not part of chess!
7:06:46 PM Exxthus: Wait a minute....
7:06:56 PM Exxthus: This was all a ruse, wasn't it?
7:07:16 PM Exxthus: You couldn't input this on your own, so you needed me to unlock it!
7:07:27 PM Exxthus: coty wasn't even in any danger, was she?
7:07:57 PM Exxthus: She's probably off collecting credit card numbers, like usual!
7:08:33 PM Exxthus: You… there was a camera....
7:08:45 PM Exxthus: I just saw a city blow up.
7:08:53 PM Exxthus: You did it, didn't you, you devious asshole?
7:08:59 PM Exxthus: You started this!
7:09:08 PM Exxthus: WW3 is going to happen!
7:09:17 PM Exxthus: I.. I have to warn everyone!
7:09:21 PM Exxthus: There will be nukes!
7:09:29 PM Exxthus: Horrible combat, cities falling!
7:09:33 PM Exxthus: I have no time!
7:09:50 PM Exxthus: You win this round, but you will NOT win the war!
7:09:58 PM Exxthus: … Because…. there will be no war.
7:10:04 PM Exxthus: Because I'm stopping it.
7:10:09 PM Exxthus: I'll get you yet!
7:10:29 PM Exxthus: Now get the hell off of coty's account, you evil bot!
7:10:41 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
7:10:53 PM Exxthus: And so you're blowing up the world?!
7:11:06 PM Exxthus: Wait....
7:11:11 PM Exxthus: It's a simulation.
7:11:16 PM Exxthus: … Hahaha.
7:11:20 PM Exxthus: Oh, you had me going there.
7:11:28 PM cotytothemax: haha
7:11:35 PM Exxthus: Oooh, you're a sly one.
7:11:39 PM Exxthus: And a fine actress, coty.
7:11:49 PM Exxthus: I tip my hat to you, ma'am.
7:11:54 PM Exxthus: See you later.
7:11:56 PM Exxthus: Bye!
7:12:06 PM Exxthus: Hoo hoo, that was great.
Reference: http://www.u413.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLJ3zcdPtl8#t=3m11s
I have been underestimating coty, if she is capable of a Prankster's Gambit of such high caliber. Exx, you pulled off some impressive hard-boiled sleuthing, even while under the intense emotional pressure from the thought of losing coty.
ReplyDelete*Tear* This is why Exx/coty is the OTP of OTPs.
(I admit to losing it when you started quoting WarGames. These logs just keep getting more hilarious.)
@Anon - It needed to be done. I just noticed that u413 doesn't have the joke login anymore. I am disappointed.
ReplyDelete>"Your Trojans will come nowhere near MY USB ports, thank you!"
ReplyDeletei wanna stick my trojan in your port, output, and make sweet code with you. never stop posting these OP.