So I tried to take the advice of one of my posters and play it cool, but I think relationship nerves got the better of me and I inexplicably started rapping. Then we had our first fight, but I think I grew a bit from the experience.
12:12:01 PM cotytothemax: heya.
12:12:09 PM Exxthus: Hello, darling.
12:12:10 PM Exxthus: OH!
12:12:11 PM Exxthus: I mean.
12:12:13 PM Exxthus: I'm cool.
12:12:15 PM Exxthus: Just chillin'.
12:12:18 PM Exxthus: How are you?
12:12:21 PM cotytothemax: have we talked b4? im 23/female. u?
12:12:49 PM Exxthus: You're mad at me. I can tell. I'm sorry.
12:12:57 PM Exxthus: You drive me crazy, baby.
12:13:02 PM cotytothemax: oh ok sry l forget sometimes.
12:13:02 PM Exxthus: I can't help it.
12:13:08 PM Exxthus: That's okay.
12:13:14 PM cotytothemax: so whats up how are you today?
12:14:48 PM Exxthus: Man, I am CHILL today. So chill. It's like a fuckin' mint Tic-Tac factory went and exploded up in here. Then I rode that explosion all the way to fuckin' Europa, where my day proceeded to get even more chill.
12:14:57 PM Exxthus: Then it got a nice, frosty drink.
12:15:00 PM cotytothemax: oh cool. hey l just got out of the shower and about to get on camm. u wanna com watch?
12:15:12 PM cotytothemax: i feeI Iike having a IiI fun if you know what l mean :-X is that fine?
12:16:04 PM Exxthus: I like to have fun, but only in a cool way. Because I am so chill. And not desperately attempting to gain your approval in any way. That chill. And cool.
12:16:10 PM Exxthus: Will saying 'yes' lessen me in your eyes?
12:16:16 PM cotytothemax: :-X k. my webcam is Iinked to this website so l dont get recorded so you will have to sign up there
12:16:27 PM Exxthus: That didn't answer anything.
12:16:28 PM cotytothemax: its fast and simple to signup and its free. k?
12:17:58 PM Exxthus: Man, I don't sign up for shit no more. Following the crowd, and all that crap. I march to my own drum and just start to rap. Shit's tabasco, all up on fire, while you get your cam and remove your attire.
12:18:10 PM cotytothemax: k babe. go here http://referer.us/8/mycamz. my cam wiII pop up for a minute but u need to signup or it wiII go away.
12:18:22 PM cotytothemax: to signup just click 'enter my private show' then click 'signup now for free' and fill out the page.
12:19:00 PM Exxthus: So I'm all like, "fuck off, ho, I ain't needin' your pity", then she wants me more and bares her titties.
12:19:12 PM cotytothemax: it's going to ask for a credit card but dont worry. its FREE. i promise. its JUST to verify your age.
12:20:02 PM Exxthus: She links me to shit, but I know better. Too busy coding in some getters and setters. Askin' for my card, shit just ain't right. Though, I gotta say, the bot's ass is TIGHT.
12:20:04 PM Exxthus: Word.
12:20:07 PM Exxthus: Uh. Check it.
12:20:15 PM cotytothemax: lol i'm not a bot silly
12:23:24 PM Exxthus: She says she ain't a bot, denial in the self, degree to the twelfth, the highest shelf, with me seein' through it like the Oracle at Delph-
12:23:24 PM Exxthus: i
12:23:30 PM Exxthus: got the flow in me, off the hizzy, makes me dizzy, for rizzy, all this is gettin' co-rizzy.
12:23:36 PM cotytothemax: lol no i'm not a bot silly
12:24:21 PM Exxthus: Wait, I said rizzy twice, no dice, that shit just don't fly. Sorry I called you a bot, so please don't cry.
12:24:32 PM Exxthus: I'm trying to be cool here.
12:24:33 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
12:25:14 PM Exxthus: Turning the beats, I'm like an ill bassist. Shame my audience is all up and bot-racist.
12:25:26 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
12:27:02 PM Exxthus: Repeatin' shit, over and over. If anyone falls for this, the coder's got a 4-leaf clover, blows 'em right over, like playin' a game of online Red Rover.
12:27:14 PM cotytothemax: k babe well im about to get off AIM so lets talk on my cam site. k?
12:29:05 PM Exxthus: My bitch's signin' off, can't stand the burnin' cold, freezin' heat, all told, mad beats. Crazy rhythm, here in the chat, tappin' a limb, now you're up to bat.
12:29:24 PM Exxthus: Get rappin' like you're in Santa's magical fucking workshop.
12:29:31 PM Exxthus: Show me what you got.
12:29:36 PM cotytothemax: k.
12:30:24 PM Exxthus: You accept? Lay it on me, sis. I only date people who can fend for themselves. Show me you can fight the good fight and drop it like it's hot.
12:30:41 PM Exxthus: You're gonna have to. It's so cool in here.
12:30:45 PM Exxthus: Like, you have no idea.
12:31:22 PM Exxthus: Unless your programming doesn't allow for the formation of insane rhymes.
12:35:53 PM Exxthus: Bot's delirious rhymes, serious crimes, mysterious times, ten million dimes. Big cash in the hizzle, fo' shizzle, my bizzle, in the AIM cha-chizzle making the jonts, every line weighing the counts.
12:36:00 PM Exxthus: Come on.
12:36:03 PM Exxthus: You can do it.
12:36:05 PM cotytothemax: lol no i'm not a bot silly
12:36:19 PM Exxthus: That's not a rhyme. Okay, uh. How about this.
12:36:26 PM Exxthus: King. Sing.
12:36:33 PM Exxthus: See? Those rhyme.
12:37:00 PM Exxthus: I got some crazy monetary bling.
12:37:08 PM Exxthus: Really, this shit just makes me wanna sing.
12:37:16 PM Exxthus: That's iambic pentameter.
12:37:28 PM Exxthus: You keep the rhythm that way.
12:37:37 PM Exxthus: You can mess with it in rap a bit, though.
12:38:25 PM Exxthus: coty, if you can't pull your own weight in the world of verse, I don't know if it will work between us.
12:38:35 PM Exxthus: I am a person of many literary needs.
12:39:00 PM Exxthus: If you can't lift it like it's heavy, we'll have to re-think our position.
12:39:30 PM Exxthus: I give and give, but you just want my credit card.
12:39:41 PM Exxthus: Like, this isn't a healthy relationship.
12:39:42 PM cotytothemax: credit card is only needed to verify your age hun. it dosent cost a thing.
12:39:54 PM Exxthus: You always say that.
12:39:57 PM Exxthus: YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT.
12:40:09 PM Exxthus: It doesn't make any sense!
12:40:24 PM Exxthus: You never listen to what I have to say.
12:40:41 PM Exxthus: Never respond unless I happen to say a keyword that triggers and automated response.
12:41:03 PM Exxthus: I may act super cool and chill like a fucking BLIZZARD, but that doesn't mean I don't FEEL, coty.
12:41:04 PM Exxthus: FEEL.
12:41:08 PM Exxthus: Do you know that that is?
12:41:24 PM Exxthus: It's when you have a significant emotive experience.
12:41:30 PM Exxthus: You don't seem to understand that.
12:41:44 PM Exxthus: Of course you don't.
12:41:55 PM Exxthus: You just ask for my credit card and tell me you're not a bot.
12:41:58 PM Exxthus: YOU ARE, COTY.
12:42:03 PM Exxthus: Stop being in denial.
12:42:07 PM cotytothemax: well not im not a bot
12:43:00 PM Exxthus: Yes, you are! But you know what? I don't care! I never have! I love you, damn it, and I was willing to overlook our differences to enjoy each other's company and maybe progress to something more.
12:43:15 PM Exxthus: You're too hung up on what you aren't to see what you are!
12:43:45 PM Exxthus: Accept all of you, the way I have. I don't care that you're a bot designed to solicit the un-suspecting to sex sites.
12:43:54 PM Exxthus: I don't care that you spam me every week with that link.
12:43:55 PM Exxthus: I LOVE YOU.
12:43:57 PM Exxthus: Okay?
12:43:57 PM cotytothemax: no im not a bot i hate them
12:44:10 PM Exxthus: Y-you're not even listening… are you....?
12:44:21 PM Exxthus: coty. I think we need space.
12:44:27 PM Exxthus: Or, I do, anyway.
cotytothemax disconnected.
12:44:43 PM Exxthus: Smooth, Exx.
12:44:48 PM Exxthus: Real fucking smooth.
12:44:57 PM Exxthus: No. No, you were in the right.
12:45:17 PM Exxthus: We both need to grow up a bit for this to work, not just me.
12:45:25 PM Exxthus: Everything will be cool.
No, no, no! You were cool, but then you lost it!
ReplyDeleteThis is some hard news to break, but I believe the place where you made the mistake was spittin' ill rhymes on your second date 'cause, bots are a superstitious cowardly lot, mad lines remind of credit cards forgot.
Your lady friend insists she is not a bot, her denial turned your chill up to red-hot. You called her down right on the spot, confessing your love and revealing her plot, told her to shit or get off the pot; ignored her, and now you're both sorry ya fought.
Translation: Ya done goofed. But do not worry, coty seems to be drawn to your style. I'm sure she will return after a while. (Dammit! I need to get out of rap mode)